The SWord for freedom

  I never thought I would return to writing under such circumstances.  I originally thought I would write about my feelings on immigrating to the United States, a review of my new Lexus, or some thoughts on China... but I never imagined that it would be an article like this. About two months ago, I watched a film I'd long wanted to see, " Memories of Matsuko ". I watched it 3 times in two months, and today, I watched it again. Suddenly, I felt the urge to write something.  Because I have seen too many Matsukos. ==================== The first time I heard about this movie was probably around 2014. At the time, a young girl, who is a friend of my ex-girlfriend, had her WeChat name as "Matsuko Kawajiri(川尻松子)," which is the name of the film's protagonist. Looking back, she was also a girl who needed to learn how to love herself. I will discuss her in more detail below. I spent my last two decades in China in Tianjin , a city just a half-hour train ride from the ...

Last night, I had a very long and possibly the most bizarre dream of the year. I dreamt that I was pretending to be an AI robot doing various jobs. The first scene took place in a hotel, which seemed to be a love hotel. I pretended to be a robot servant, delivering items to guests' rooms, cleaning, and answering their various questions. The timeline seemed to be around 2010, when people hadn’t yet widely seen or used voice robots, so they were very intrigued by me, almost forgetting what they came there to do. They kept asking me all sorts of questions, and I tried to be able to answer them.. Later, they asked me to learn Chinese and respond in it. I replied that I hadn’t yet learned any other languages and asked for their forgiveness. (Of course, speaking Chinese would be easy for me, but I was afraid they would then ask me to speak Japanese or even Spanish, which would make me speechless.) Luckily, they didn’t ask further and eventually went back to doing what they came there for...

That year, also in June, I was working for one of the three major American media companies based in Beijing. It was an eventful spring. It started at the beginning of the year with the visit of President Bush Sr. to China and then the death of the China communist leader ...... By one night in early June, the eventful spring was finally marked with a huge exclamation mark, and an even bigger question mark. I was still a Chinese citizen at that time. The next morning, I was busy looking for my boss: I couldn't stay in the danger place, I wanted to resign, I wanted to wipe my feet and leave. I didn't realize that my boss was looking for me too. He said that there was one of our Australian cameramen and his British recording assistant in the Beijing Hotel who had just filmed some very important contents. The boss said he wanted me to go and get this material myself, instead of sending the 20 or so interns from the broadcasting school who were working under me. This was a dilemma ...

Alice is such an adorable little girl. Even though she’s only 7 years old, she often comes up with surprisingly childish that leave you not knowing whether to laugh or cry. I remember when I first moved into this house, everyone was quite curious about me because they all wanted to know about the current situation in China. One time, Alice asked me: "Uncle Shawn, my Chinese isn’t very good. If I go to China, will the Communist Party arrest me?" I was shocked at the time, feeling both amused and sad ---- this was coming from a 7-year-old girl. I replied, "They probably won’t. At most, people will just be curious about you." Then she said, "I hate Xi Jinping." That I couldn't calm down, I don’t want a seven-year-old to have hate in her heart. I told her, "There’s no need for that. He and the Communist Party have nothing to do with you, and they can’t control you. You just need to live happily and study well. Leave the other matters to the adults....

The internet went out again this afternoon. I went downstairs to ask the landlord, and it turned out the system needed an update. Yes, the optical modem's system needed an update, and it had to be taken to the service station to have the system flashed. This is quite different from my previous experiences. The landlord said she was heading out to the Spectrum service station right away and would be back in about two hours. I said I couldn't work in the meantime, so I might as well go to Costco and stock up on 10 days food. The landlord said, "Great! I need to go to Costco too, let's go together! You can also try out my new car!" ==================== The landlord usually drives a Toyota Sienna , I've seen a lot of these at Google headquarters ---- they’re work vehicles, used for transporting people or goods, with a big number in circulation. It's a standard North American MPV. The landlord just bought a new model of the Sienna, a hybrid. I have to say, thi...

N's mother was discharged from the hospital after about three weeks. During this time, his father, the tall, thin white man, did not appear again, and even N was seldom seen. About a week ago, I met N in the kitchen and asked about her condition. The doctor said she needed to stay in the hospital for three months for treatment. Since another friend of mine had a similar situation, I asked N for more details. If you’ve been a taxpayer in Los Angeles for over a year and the doctor determines that you need treatment at a community hospital, everything is free. If it's severe and requires treatment at a major hospital, it depends on your insurance. I didn't delve further, considering how N might be feeling. ==================== About three days ago, I met N again, and he said his mother could be discharged early. But seeing his expressionless face, I held back my congratulations. Then, the next day, I heard his mother’s screams again. It sounded like long, suppressed moaning, a...

Today, I witnessed a love that is so great, it transcends life and death. It deeply moved me, making the heartbreak wounds I’ve experienced seem insignificant in comparison. It's Sunday. I had just prepared pork chops for lunch and was about to start eating when I noticed an ambulance come and stop in front of my house. I hurried downstairs and saw them carrying out a stretcher. That tall, thin man was signing some papers, and I started to feel uneasy. The medical personnel asked if there was anything they could help me with. I told them I saw their ambulance pull up here, so I came out to see if there was anything I could do. The neighborhood where I live. Halloween decorations. Since moving into this neighborhood, I’ve gotten to know a Chinese son and his mother. Unlike others, this mother always had a cold expression and never responded to greetings. She would even avoid people whenever she saw them. Her body is also very thin and weak, likely suffering from some sort of mental ...

My Life is Perfect. The flight attendant who was handing out drinks noticed that I like this milk. The taste of this milk is particularly rich, much more so than any of the whole milk I usually drink. So I kept refilling for it. Yesterday, she even showed me the packaging of the milk, hoping that I could find it in the U.S. Back to the main story. Just now, while she was handing out drinks, she smiled at me and said, "You probably want the milk, right?" "Yes, please, I really like it." As I took the cup, she said, "You’re so cool." (Ah? Is it because I’m the only one asking for milk....so that she thinks my unique style is cool?) Just as I was stunned and unsure how to respond, she added, "Your hands are a bit cool." Oh, so I misunderstood ---- it wasn't that she was saying I was cool, but that my hands were cool  ---- When I took the cup, our hands had touched. At this point, I really didn’t know how to respond. After I stunned there dazed f...

  Last night, the hotel sent me a yummy mooncake with a cherry blossom flavor for the Mid-Autumn Festival. I forgot to ask them where I could buy it, but it's very likely that it's not for sale. Today, I’m leaving Singapore and flying to Los Angeles with ANA . Why didn’t I choose a direct flight and instead opted for a more cost ANA flight with a layover in Tokyo? Of course, it's because I wanted to buy Shiseido at Narita Airport, and check out if they have the local Oceanus store(Casio's watch brand). Though I’m not getting my hopes up too much. Also, I’ve always had a good impression of ANA and Japan, and now that I have the chance, I decided to give it a try. At 3am, the driver took me to the airport. Singapore's Changi Airport is said to be the best airport in the world, but it's still pretty quiet in the early morning. I suppose this is because of the epidemc. I spent some time with a girl from the Philippines, looking for something to eat and so on. The AN...