Alice VS Xi Jinping

Alice is such an adorable little girl.

Even though she’s only 7 years old, she often comes up with surprisingly childish that leave you not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

I remember when I first moved into this house, everyone was quite curious about me because they all wanted to know about the current situation in China.

One time, Alice asked me:

"Uncle Shawn, my Chinese isn’t very good. If I go to China, will the Communist Party arrest me?"

I was shocked at the time, feeling both amused and sad ---- this was coming from a 7-year-old girl.

I replied, "They probably won’t. At most, people will just be curious about you."

Then she said, "I hate Xi Jinping."

That I couldn't calm down, I don’t want a seven-year-old to have hate in her heart.

I told her, "There’s no need for that. He and the Communist Party have nothing to do with you, and they can’t control you. You just need to live happily and study well. Leave the other matters to the adults."

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As we got to know each other more, we talked about more topics, like her dreams, her likes, her complaints about her teachers, and so on.

She likes the color black, likes snakes, and likes the Honda Accord, so I taught her how to recognize the Accord.

One rainy day while waiting for her mom, we stood by the street looking at cars. She asked me who the Accord's father, mother, grandfather, cousin, and ancestors were... I did my best to answer based on my knowledge of Honda and Acura...It was really hard to answer these relatives if I am not being a Honda fan.

Then she asked the same questions about the Camry’s relatives... Fortunately, I’m also familiar with Toyota and Lexus... Thank goodness she didn’t ask about a third car.

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Sometimes, I help the landlord take Alice to her dance lessons, and I just took her for a run today, which led to a new conversation that made me to write this record.

Not long after getting in the car, Alice asked me about the pandemic situation in China.

“Why does China keep people locked in their homes?”

“Because China handles the pandemic differently from the U.S.”

“Why does the Chinese government want so much money?”

“Well... because... every country’s government collects taxes from people to do things that require a lot of money. But some governments embezzle that money, so we have to keep a close watch on them.”

“Why does the Chinese government embezzle money?”

“Because... some officials like to use that money to enjoy a better life.”

“I hate Xi Jinping. He’s ugly.”

“Hmm, I don’t like him either.”

“I hope he dies or steps down.”

“There’s no need for that. Whether he steps down or not, it doesn’t really affect China much. Even if he does step down, the government will quickly choose another Wang Jinping or Li Jinping, who will do the same things.”

“Why are they all named Jinping?”

“Uh, that’s just a metaphor I used.”

“I think my mom should be the president of China.”

(!!) "Why do you think that?"

“Because my mom is good and strong, and she can give everyone a good life.”

“Yes, but she can’t be the president of China. Because your mom is a good person, she’s not bad enough.”

“Do bad people collect more taxes?”

“Bad people only think about their own interests and don’t care about others.”

“Chinese people should all hate Xi Jinping.”

“Actually, most people love him.”

“Why?”

“That’s a bit complicated... We’re home now. Have you come up with any new ideas for the Uber interview questions I gave you last time?”

“Hehe, not yet.”

“Well, think about them more. If you can figure out those questions, I’ll be able to explain what we were just talking about.”

For now, I managed to change the subject.

Honestly, I really don’t want such a young girl to get involved in politics. If possible, I hope she’ll grow up first, then learn about politics through her own thinking and observation, rather than relying on our views.

But she seems very interested. And her whole family is interested...

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At dinner, while I was drinking with her grandfather, Alice came over with a drawing, which was clearly done by her.

“What did you draw here?”

“Xi Jinping!”

“Xi Jinping!”

“Uncle Shawn, please give this drawing to Xi Jinping. Tell him I hate him, that he’s a bad person! I want him to grade my drawing. If he doesn’t give it a perfect score, I’ll go and hit him!”

“I can’t! I don’t have a way to contact him.”

“Do you know anyone who works for him?”

“I don’t know them either, I can help you post it on Twitter so that lots of people can see it, and maybe one of his people will notice.”

“Will he see it?”

“I doubt it. His people probably wouldn’t dare show it to him.”

“Then think of a way. I want him to see it!”

“I... I’ll try.”